This weekend our family went on a little vacation with some good friends. We packed up our cars and all five of our accumulated children and headed to a hotel with a water park. The children were delighted to have hours and hours together in the water. We adults were delighted to have other adults for company while we spent hours and hours in the water.
Nothing will get a child focused and moving like the promise of a water park after a two-hour drive, so our kids were in their suits and on a water slide within minutes of arrival. We adults, needing to warm up slowly, found a table and sat for a few minutes. If we’re going to be honest, one of the chief grown-up entertainments at such an establishment is people watching. And this is just what we did. We watched babies and children and their parents and ogled tattoos. So many tattoos!
“Psssst. Jess. Jesssss,” our friend Jon hissed at me, in that loud whisper one must use when having a private conversation in a loud place.
“What?” I loud-hissed back at him.
“That table over there–see that stuff? The guy who’s sitting there has a green plastic monkey tattooed on his back,” Jon reply-hissed at me.
I scrunched up my face at him, because surely I had heard wrong. He repeated himself, and then told me to wait. Sure enough, the man came back. And he had a barrel of monkeys tattooed all down his back, green ones included. It was like I had died and gone to heaven. It couldn’t have been more perfect.
And then (this is the part that might shock you slightly) we started to follow him around to get a picture of his tattoo. Yes, it would have been more appropriate to stop the man and say, “Hey, you know, I just wrote a book called There’s a Green Plastic Monkey in My Purse, and you have that monkey tattoo. Can I have a picture for the blog?” But it was way more fun to sneak behind him and get a picture.
Here’s my first attempt. Not so hot. But it’s really hard to get a decent picture in a water park when the subject is not aware that he should stop to pose.
Here’s the second attempt. Better, but the inner tube is sort of interrupting a good thing there.
And finally, here’s the final shot. I don’t know exactly how we got this close for the picture, but there it is. Perfection.So there we go, folks. Green Plastic Monkeys are the new craze. Get your own tattoo at a parlor near you, and send me a picture. I’ll put it on the blog, assuming that it’s in a place appropriate enough for everyone to see. If you want to make me really happy, get a Bible verse and some parenting advice tattooed right next to it, and it would be a perfect marketing tool for the book.