On Saturday night, somewhere in the middle of a plate of tacos and a cup of frozen custard, I think I accidentally signed myself up for a truckload of trouble.

Pray for me.

It’s graduation season here in Michigan, which means that parents of high school seniors host large parties, feeding hordes of friends and family. Of course Eric and I wanted to wish Collin and Geoffrey well, but also (and this point cannot be understated) the food at these parties was going to be excellent. Collin’s mom is known far and wide as an excellent cook. Overheard repeatedly: “Did you taste the salsa?” “This is my third plate.” And “Wait a minute, where’d you get those beans?”

We left Collin’s party full and happy, and headed to Geoffrey’s party to eat more. Geoffrey’s dad is a part-owner of our favorite frozen custard joint and they had a sundae bar, thank you Lord. Overheard: “Congratulations-Geoffrey-holy-cow-did-you-see-they-have-peanut-butter-sauce!” 

So I may not have had my wits about me as I started talking to our minister. I was high on tacos, people. I can’t be held responsible. I may have asked Jason how things were going, and he may have mentioned we need more small groups at the church so we can get people plugged in. We have a lot of new people, but our congregation finds that small groups really help to build those relationships a healthy church needs.

So. Jason also mentioned one of the small groups needs a place to meet. And he may (again, due to my taco intake I don’t remember the specifics) have suggested our house because we have room. I sort of remember exclaiming, “That’s why we bought the house!” Which is true, because we made sure the new house would work for these sorts of things.

At some point in the conversation Jason pointed out a crucial fact: three couples are already actively involved in this group, and all three wives are pregnant. These are not good odds, and obviously there is something wrong with the air/water/food when these people get together.

His warning was clear. The small group is coming anyway, and we’re even thinking of inviting two other couples we know from outside the church who are also pregnant. I mean, why the heck not? Let’s up the ante.

The year? 2003, probably. I can't explain my bangs or why Eric's wearing a starfish on his shirt.
The year? 2003, probably. I can’t explain my bangs or why Eric’s wearing a starfish on his shirt.

I’m taking my chances because I remember those days of pregnancy and new babies all too well. They were exhausting and I was a basket case. I needed women to come alongside me with clear heads and patient words to keep me steady, to remind me a sense of humor might be the only thing to get me through the day, and– most importantly– to pray for me.

I hope it’s my turn to offer that to new families. Eric and I can be the ones a few steps ahead, taking babies out of tired arms and praying for people who haven’t had a whole night of sleep for months.

I’m hoping God isn’t using this experience to trick me into having another baby. Just in case, I’ll be drinking bottled water, wearing a mask, and bringing my own sealed food to all meetings.

Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Why did she say, ‘Can an old woman like me have a baby?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.” Genesis 18:13-14

(Lord, you proved your point with Sarah. I believe. I have learned her lesson, Father. Thank you and amen.)

10 Comments on If This Small Group Gets Me Pregnant, All Heck Will Break Loose

  1. memyselfandkids.com
    June 9, 2014 at 4:29 pm (3 years ago)

    Instead of guilty by association, it’s pregnancy by association. Is it possible on some level you want to be pregnant? I sound like a psychologist – don’t I?
    Anyway, I’ve asked you about those tacos. You have some weird addiction for them.

  2. Jessie Clemence
    June 9, 2014 at 5:43 pm (3 years ago)

    Yes to tacos, no to pregnancy. NONONONONO.
    No.

  3. Kristen E
    June 9, 2014 at 7:47 pm (3 years ago)

    The majority of the ladies in my small group are Grandmas. We have been together for 10 years, and all grand-babies have been born during that time. I am proud to say that my 7 year old son has not made me a grandma! Teehee! (My mother-in-law is part of the group, so my son is one of the grand-babies.)

    Enjoy snuggling with babies, sending them home, and sleeping through the night.

  4. Luanne
    June 9, 2014 at 7:57 pm (3 years ago)

    I think you have very plainly established that you need to say NO to the tacos. This is abundantly clear even from a couple thousand miles away. So rather than pray for no babies, I will pray that you will always have strength and fortitude to say no to tacos (and the occasional cup of frozen yogurt)! And in this way, I will do my part to ensure you remain blissfully UN-fertile!

  5. Jessie Clemence
    June 9, 2014 at 9:10 pm (3 years ago)

    As always, Lu, your prayers are coveted. 🙂

    I never considered the tacos as the problem. I’m glad you’re here to help me out!

  6. Jessie Clemence
    June 9, 2014 at 9:11 pm (3 years ago)

    Josh and I were eyeing a baby today while we waited for the boys after school. Neither of us felt profoundly led to go and get any more of those for either household!

  7. Anonymous
    June 9, 2014 at 9:53 pm (3 years ago)

    This post made me laugh out loud the whole way through! The funny part is when we starting the small group none of us knew we were pregnant, it just kind of worked out that way!

  8. Jessie Clemence
    June 9, 2014 at 10:27 pm (3 years ago)

    I don’t believe this. It’s a plot, and maybe even a plot from God. 🙂

  9. Sarah Strait
    June 10, 2014 at 2:10 pm (3 years ago)

    As a mom of a small one whose sleeping patterns leave much to be desired, I applaud your firm “no pregnancy” stance. I also think there is much wisdom in bringing your own food and drinking bottled water. It’s catchy, i tell you! 😛 And you can always come hold my baby during what should be nap time. Always.