I was paying attention yesterday during the sermon, and it was a darn good thing. Because suddenly, without warning, I became a sermon illustration. The Holy Reverend (or Jason, as we call him) was talking about St. Peter and how he lets people in to heaven, or not.
(Please do not send me or Jason hate mail about the theological inaccuracies in the last sentence. We know, we know. He was proving a point. (Jason was proving the point, not St. Peter.))
Jason mentioned that Shirley’s kid will probably get into heaven because she’s so sweet. Then he added that probably St. Peter will not allow any kids of Jessie Clemence through the pearly gates because she smokes cigars.
(The cigar-thing is a very long story and we don’t have time to get into it here, but trust me– the church understood.)
And that’s when I started heckling the preacher from the back row, where I sit each week. I yelled some things, which means I totally ignored 1 Corinthians 14:34, which in the New Living Translation includes the following words: women, silent, submissive, and law. I’m not good at putting those four words together in any instance, let alone when the preacher is trying to get my goat somewhere in the middle of Galatians.
And then Jason made another wisecrack and then I yelled “That’s tomorrow’s blog post, right there, bub.”
And he said, “You’re welcome.” Then he continued with the sermon. My husband was snorting in laughter from the sound booth and I don’t know where Jason’s wife was, but she was probably rolling her lovely eyes and smirking a little, somewhere near the front. Quietly.
I am not as holy as the minister’s wife. And I am okay with that.
I don’t feel bad at all about the verbal volleys with Jason, but I do sort of feel bad about using my blog as a weapon. Here’s the thing– bloggers make people very nervous. I get a lot of “Hey, watch what you say. We’ll be on the blog tomorrow.” or, “Oh, jeez. Now Jessie’s going to write about us.” And people shift nervously in their seats and refrain from adding any more to the conversation.
I’ve been trying to tell people they don’t have to fear what I write about them. I don’t want people to worry I’ll put their personal details or our conversations on the blog. But then I went and blew it all by using my blog as a way to silence a sassy preacher.
Sometimes my mouth works faster than my good intentions.
Can anyone else relate?
Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. James 3:2, NLT