I have gifts hidden in three separate zip codes at the moment. It will be a true Christmas miracle if I can remember where they all are before next week.

Our old house had many terrible features, like a stairway of death, a basement of horrors, and a complete and utter lack of respect for the profession of modern architecture, but it did have plenty of hidey holes for Christmas gifts. Not only that, but our kids were too terrified of the dark corners to go skulking around for gifts.

Also, spiders. That house had fat spiders in the dark corners. We were all afraid of those suckers.

We’ve lived in our new house for three years already, and the only downfall is the lack of decent hiding spaces for things like this. Well, that and the taxes, which are way higher than my liking. But this isn’t a gripe session about the tax code, so let’s go back to the storage issue.

We have one good room for all the random things like the cat litter, the washer and dryer, the water heater, and the furnace. Unless I want to build a fake wall onto the studs, I have to resort to madness to make sure our kids can’t find their gifts before Christmas.

Therefore and thus, this is where it’s all hidden:*

  • All the new socks and underwear are in the van glove compartment.
  • The new box of Q-tips Audrey asked for is buried in the back yard.
  • Caleb’s new apron and mixing bowl set have been mailed to Great Grandma’s for keeping.
  • Eric’s comprehensive set of Janet Evanovich books has been duck taped to the back wall of his mother’s closet. (He is going to be so surprised on Christmas morning!)

What about you? Where do you hide Christmas gifts?

*Portions of this post are complete lies, as my children have a tendency to go to school and read this blog to spy on me. I can’t blame them, as I would have done the same thing if blogs had existed in 1988.

11 Comments on Tis the season to be sneaky

  1. David
    December 16, 2015 at 3:20 pm (2 years ago)

    The problem with hiding Christmas gifts is finding them. We have been known to find a gift some considerable time later. I Googled Janet whatshername. Glad Eric is getting those books not me.

  2. cherifields
    December 16, 2015 at 3:33 pm (2 years ago)

    LOL! I was wondering how you dared be so specific on your hidey holes and presents, but didn’t think exhumed Q-Tips would be something even you would do to your son and started to catch on.
    All our presents are under the tree except my husband’s that I haven’t remembered to carry down from my sock drawer yet. The kids know there will be severe consequences if they dare mess with any of the packages. Even my 22 month old has learned her lesson and maintains a good distance from the tree.
    I’m not usually a strict parent who puts obstacles in my kids’ way just to teach them a lesson, but I want to see the presents and tree badly enough to make this a big deal. 😀

  3. Jessie Clemence
    December 16, 2015 at 3:49 pm (2 years ago)

    I felt that way about the tree itself when our kids were little. It only took one Christmas for them to get the idea that messing with the tree was a BAD idea. I just couldn’t bear to not have a tree like some toddler parents do!

  4. Jessie Clemence
    December 16, 2015 at 3:50 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh, Eric will be glad, too. Glad, glad, glad. Tidings of great joy! (If Eric shows up at your door alone two days after Christmas, you’ll know why.)

  5. Anonymous
    December 16, 2015 at 6:21 pm (2 years ago)

    One day, when your kids are grown and gone far away, you can take the easy way out like me and write checks. No wrapping nor UPS. Just drop a card, with check, in the mailbox. Alas your day will come.

  6. Jessie Clemence
    December 16, 2015 at 9:00 pm (2 years ago)

    Assuming I can find my checkbook, that is. 🙂 I’ll probably hide that and lose it too!

  7. memyselfandkids.com
    December 16, 2015 at 11:20 pm (2 years ago)

    My wife keeps them in her closet. She wraps them pretty darn quickly so I guess the children could only look at them if they unwrapped them. I don’t think they ever have. I guess they like some element of surprise.

  8. Jessie Clemence
    December 17, 2015 at 11:20 am (2 years ago)

    I don’t think I’ve ever wrapped them early! Eric and I do that on Christmas Eve while we watch dumb tv and have a little glass of wine. But that’s a pretty good idea!

  9. Kristen E
    December 17, 2015 at 8:11 pm (2 years ago)

    My mom would hide presents in her trunk (no station wagon or minivan for her) until she wrapped them. Watch out for those kids, like my sister, who could expertly unwrap and rewrap to see her gifts. Eventually she got good enough that she could just feel and shake the gift, and she would know what it was-even when my mom wrapped a sweater and a brick in the same box. (May our children not be this crafty.)
    By the way, my son who rarely ever gets out of bed, got out of bed and went into the living room while I was wrapping gifts last night. Argh!

  10. memyselfandkids.com
    December 17, 2015 at 11:41 pm (2 years ago)

    Yours sounds good too. Well the alcohol part does at least.

  11. Jessie Clemence
    December 18, 2015 at 2:51 pm (2 years ago)

    Argh, indeed! It always throws me when our kids get up now, because they hardly ever do it.