This pool was one of Audrey’s birthday gifts. The kids had hours of fun last night, dunking the Barbies and drenching the dining room. Please note that the other Ken was not allowed to swim, as his swim shorts have split a seam and he is in constant danger of exposing himself. And we don’t put up with that sort of thing in this house.
This interview turned out to be a lot harder than I thought it would be. For some reason, this child (who can give me a ten-minute summary about her five-minute dream), suddenly started answering in one word statements. I didn’t even know this was possible for her. So I had to regroup, and ask her more questions to draw her out of her sudden little shell. And some of the questions stumped her and she had to think about them overnight. But here, I present to you, my third-grader’s deepest thoughts. Or at least the ones she is willing to share with me if I ask a direct question…
Mom: Audrey, do you have any exciting events coming up?
Audrey: My ninth birthday.
(Mom’s note: I feel old.)
M: How are you going to celebrate that?
A: A sleepover with friends.
(Mom’s note: We have had the sleepover, everyone survived, and the house is almost back in order. Except I haven’t seen the cat in two days.)
M: What do you want for your birthday?
A: Lego Friends, Squinkies, and stuffed animals. Zoobles.
(Mom’s note: For those of you who do not frequent the toy aisle, Squinkies and Zoobles are tiny toys that will destroy your Hoover and make your child cry when you suck them up on Vacuuming Day.)
M: I hear you’re saving your money for something big. What is it?
A: An American Girl Doll. Marie-Grace. She’s so pretty.
(Mom’s note: I think she’s more excited about the trip to downtown Chicago to the American Girl Store than she is about the actual purchase of the doll.)
M: How many pairs of shoes do you own?
A: What the? Why did you put that question in there? Five. Maybe six.
(Mom’s note: Ha! The child does not own five or six pairs of shoes. I can think of eight pairs without even looking. And I think she has more hiding under her bed.)
M: Did you get in trouble at school today?
(Mom’s note: She said this while staring at me with big eyes, because she never gets in trouble at school. If she ever did get yelled at, I think we’d have to get her counseling. Or a pony.)
M: On your last spelling test, you received a grade of 105%. Do you think you could try a little harder next time? Sheesh.
(Mom’s note: She did not get this from me. I can’t spell. I think her dad can, though.)
M: What is something that you want really, really badly that your dad and I refuse to get you?
A: An airplane. I’d go to Paris, and Hollywood, and what’s that place called with the Irish people? Ireland? Yeah, Ireland.
(Mom’s note: Recently she’s also asked for a baby sister and a guinea pig. No and no.)
M: What is worse: an hour in the grocery store, or an hour cleaning your bedroom?
A: (Lots of nose wrinkling while thinking, then…..) an hour in the grocery store. Because there’s nothing to do, but walking. And when you clean your room you can find stuff that’s important, like gold.
(Mom’s note: Yeah, gold. That’s what I was thinking, too.)
M: Where do you want to live when you grow up?
A: Chicago. It’s busy and fast; I like that.
M: And I hear you’re already planning your wedding. Where would you like to have that blessed event?
A: Mackinac Island. I don’t know why, it seems like fun.
(Mom’s note: Until last month, Audrey wanted to get married at the base of the Eiffel Tower. And since that’s what her friend Anna wanted to do too, it seemed best if they both get married at the exact same time.)
So there you have it– Audrey’s first interview. I’m pretty sure it won’t be her last. Next up is Caleb, our first grader. I promise that interview will be full of Star Wars information, and trivia about large animals like whales. And more Star Wars. And Legos. And Lego Star Wars.